Post by Nicole on Oct 29, 2004 19:36:09 GMT -5
September 29, 2004
Sky still dark. Body had finally stopped rustling under the comforter I had brough to work. Body was stiff but I was ready and willing to climb out of bed when Amy's hand tapped on the door. It was 5:50am, 10 minutes to 6:00. Before her voice called my name I knew that it was her. I waited for her to speak. "Ten to Six Nicole".
I grumbled as I got out of bed. Put my sheets away and opened the door to my new room. It was large, comfortable, a bit chilly, but so much better than the previous one in Carol's office. I put my America jacket on. The one I purchased at Steve and Barries in Grand Rapids. It was red white and blue with a huge eagle on the back. It resembled an expensive college jacket. It actually only cost 13.98 so I bought two of them.
After putting my jacket on I drew a quick picture of Fred. The picture on the dry erase board resembled an old worn out man with razor burnt face and bald head. Beside it in red erase marker I wrote "Fred, your proctologist called". Amy came in a moment later and wrote on the other side of the board "He says your supposed to use preperation H on your ass not on your face." John walked in, looked at the board and shook his head. "Thats just wrong!"
We all laughed and walked out, shutting the door behind us.
I bid them goodbye on my way out and unlocked the door with my key. I didn't know last year how much I would love my new job. Just didn't expect it at all.
I punch out at the time clock turn and walk down the long hallway and out the door.
As the cool air hits my face I know its going to be a cold ride home. I open the door to my gold dodge and slip my body into the seat. I crank the key in the ignition and listen to the rumble of the engine as I wait for the cool air to hit my body as I left it on last night. Play with the heater a little bit and shut off the radio for a moment. My hands are so chilly I have to place them in between my legs for a moment as I yawn before I place them on the steering wheel seconds later.
In my head at this moment I am angry. Still so angry. I am mad inside and I want to do something to prove to the world that I am not a carpet. I am not her carpet and I won't be walked on. Worst yet, I knew that even though I believed that to be true. She would never acknowledge or face the fact that she never loved me that way.
It was only moments earlier that my mind was racing far into the night. Far into my fears. Far into myself. Who was I? What can I do to show others that I am better than that? Better than the games. Better than women themselves that use me for all that I am.
I pulled my car out, and drove down the circled driveway until I reached the end. I pulled out onto the street taking a left turn. I was awake, I was ready to face this day. The day that I would once again walk into my home after work and work again harder than I deserved to be working.
As I traveled down this light blue, paved, rocky road I looked far ahead of me. Anger and hurt was shooting through my body so much that I missed the stop sign that I always seen every day when I was coming this way from my place of employment. Lucky enough when I did slam on the brakes halfway through the lane there were not cars coming. I proceded to take a left and head home.
It was early, my car was still cold. Even with my coat on and the heater just begining to peak a little warm air my face and nose were feeling quite crisp and I pulled my shirt over my nose to breathe down into it on my skin.
My breath was warm apon my flesh and when I breathed in the now warm air the scent of my aroma from last nights shower filled my nostrels. I smelled the scent of lavander.
My mind began to wander as I turned yet another left onto the highway. The smell of myself made me wish that I had a woman that smelled this good. Though I was cold and my nose was crisp I pulled the shirt down my neck till it rested apon my shoulder blades again.
It made me feel weird that I craved a woman after smelling the scent of my body. Letting the shirt go was just the way to deal with that. One hand on the steering wheel, one in between my thighs warming up. I drove half the way home cold. The other half 'warming up' and by the time I pulled into my drive at 6:22am I no longer wanted to get out of my now warm car. Infact, I wanted to sit there and think about my plans for the future. My plans for me.
Sky still dark. Body had finally stopped rustling under the comforter I had brough to work. Body was stiff but I was ready and willing to climb out of bed when Amy's hand tapped on the door. It was 5:50am, 10 minutes to 6:00. Before her voice called my name I knew that it was her. I waited for her to speak. "Ten to Six Nicole".
I grumbled as I got out of bed. Put my sheets away and opened the door to my new room. It was large, comfortable, a bit chilly, but so much better than the previous one in Carol's office. I put my America jacket on. The one I purchased at Steve and Barries in Grand Rapids. It was red white and blue with a huge eagle on the back. It resembled an expensive college jacket. It actually only cost 13.98 so I bought two of them.
After putting my jacket on I drew a quick picture of Fred. The picture on the dry erase board resembled an old worn out man with razor burnt face and bald head. Beside it in red erase marker I wrote "Fred, your proctologist called". Amy came in a moment later and wrote on the other side of the board "He says your supposed to use preperation H on your ass not on your face." John walked in, looked at the board and shook his head. "Thats just wrong!"
We all laughed and walked out, shutting the door behind us.
I bid them goodbye on my way out and unlocked the door with my key. I didn't know last year how much I would love my new job. Just didn't expect it at all.
I punch out at the time clock turn and walk down the long hallway and out the door.
As the cool air hits my face I know its going to be a cold ride home. I open the door to my gold dodge and slip my body into the seat. I crank the key in the ignition and listen to the rumble of the engine as I wait for the cool air to hit my body as I left it on last night. Play with the heater a little bit and shut off the radio for a moment. My hands are so chilly I have to place them in between my legs for a moment as I yawn before I place them on the steering wheel seconds later.
In my head at this moment I am angry. Still so angry. I am mad inside and I want to do something to prove to the world that I am not a carpet. I am not her carpet and I won't be walked on. Worst yet, I knew that even though I believed that to be true. She would never acknowledge or face the fact that she never loved me that way.
It was only moments earlier that my mind was racing far into the night. Far into my fears. Far into myself. Who was I? What can I do to show others that I am better than that? Better than the games. Better than women themselves that use me for all that I am.
I pulled my car out, and drove down the circled driveway until I reached the end. I pulled out onto the street taking a left turn. I was awake, I was ready to face this day. The day that I would once again walk into my home after work and work again harder than I deserved to be working.
As I traveled down this light blue, paved, rocky road I looked far ahead of me. Anger and hurt was shooting through my body so much that I missed the stop sign that I always seen every day when I was coming this way from my place of employment. Lucky enough when I did slam on the brakes halfway through the lane there were not cars coming. I proceded to take a left and head home.
It was early, my car was still cold. Even with my coat on and the heater just begining to peak a little warm air my face and nose were feeling quite crisp and I pulled my shirt over my nose to breathe down into it on my skin.
My breath was warm apon my flesh and when I breathed in the now warm air the scent of my aroma from last nights shower filled my nostrels. I smelled the scent of lavander.
My mind began to wander as I turned yet another left onto the highway. The smell of myself made me wish that I had a woman that smelled this good. Though I was cold and my nose was crisp I pulled the shirt down my neck till it rested apon my shoulder blades again.
It made me feel weird that I craved a woman after smelling the scent of my body. Letting the shirt go was just the way to deal with that. One hand on the steering wheel, one in between my thighs warming up. I drove half the way home cold. The other half 'warming up' and by the time I pulled into my drive at 6:22am I no longer wanted to get out of my now warm car. Infact, I wanted to sit there and think about my plans for the future. My plans for me.