Post by Leels on May 22, 2020 11:27:36 GMT -5
Dear Journal,
May 22, 2020
I haven't heard from the real Nathan in days, maybe even the whole week perhaps. I sent him a message letting him know I care after 3 days of no contact. He then sent me several messages the following morning telling me to stop caring about him. I can't do that. I can't believe this one thing is hovering over him so much that he's asking me not to care about him. I've told him so many times before that I can't. He hasn't acted this way in a year and a half. It really breaks my heart. I was crying so much that day. I don't understand why he would try to push me away like that. I don't want to leave.
Later, maybe the next day, I don't know, he apologized. But it wasn't the right apology. He apologized for me having to deal with shit ass neighbors. He didn't apologize for being an asshole like he should have. I just told him that I don't know what to say because the neighbors have been shit piles to us since we moved in. According to my messages, I have been waiting for a response since yesterday. I don't think I deserve this. It's not my fault that he peed in the backyard. It's not my fault that the neighbors are piles of shit and assumed that he was peeing.
Over the past few days, I've just been brooding. Listening to sad music and laying on the couch, asleep for hours on end. Going on long drives that have no meaning. Eating out. Etc. I've very disappointed at the way he's treating me about all this, but that doesn't stop me from hoping that he'll snap out of it. I miss him. But I want to give him the space he needs to think on this for as long as he needs.
May 22, 2020
I haven't heard from the real Nathan in days, maybe even the whole week perhaps. I sent him a message letting him know I care after 3 days of no contact. He then sent me several messages the following morning telling me to stop caring about him. I can't do that. I can't believe this one thing is hovering over him so much that he's asking me not to care about him. I've told him so many times before that I can't. He hasn't acted this way in a year and a half. It really breaks my heart. I was crying so much that day. I don't understand why he would try to push me away like that. I don't want to leave.
Later, maybe the next day, I don't know, he apologized. But it wasn't the right apology. He apologized for me having to deal with shit ass neighbors. He didn't apologize for being an asshole like he should have. I just told him that I don't know what to say because the neighbors have been shit piles to us since we moved in. According to my messages, I have been waiting for a response since yesterday. I don't think I deserve this. It's not my fault that he peed in the backyard. It's not my fault that the neighbors are piles of shit and assumed that he was peeing.
Over the past few days, I've just been brooding. Listening to sad music and laying on the couch, asleep for hours on end. Going on long drives that have no meaning. Eating out. Etc. I've very disappointed at the way he's treating me about all this, but that doesn't stop me from hoping that he'll snap out of it. I miss him. But I want to give him the space he needs to think on this for as long as he needs.