Post by Leels on May 20, 2020 2:27:35 GMT -5
Dear Journal,
June 4, 2018
Nathan keeps leaving all his shit at my house. It makes me wonder if he's slowly trying to move in. First, he gives me his body pillow, a month later, he brings over an asston of Marvel and DC movies. And Friday night, he left his hat on my floor. I'm SURROUNDED by Nathan items and he STILL won't take me as his girlfriend? Wtf?
I talked to Zach about his things. Mom told him that she's gonna sell them if he doesn't come pick them up. I turned around and told him that I am protecting his items and that I haven't touched them. I told him about how Paul wanted to take his bed upstairs and use it and how I yelled at him. Zach made me feel silly by telling me that he doesn't really need the bed. It also made me think: I can get laid on this bed and it won't phase Zach because he won't come back for it. Lord, I am horrible.
I hung out with Adam on Saturday and he kept trying to kiss me. What a moron. He doesn't even know what a kiss is. He kisses me on the cheek very lightly and with no passion at all. When I got home, I told him that I know why he can't hold down a girl: Because he tries to kiss them before getting to know them. He doesn't even know my 4 favorite colors. Ugh, I don't wanna be his practice girl and I certainly don't want a relationship with a virgin, but he's an idiot at this.
I went to church for the first time in a long time and was skeptical of what was going to happen. I didn't think I'd get the sermon I needed, but when Paul and I pulled in the drive, the parking lot was FULL. All of Grand Haven was in the sanctuary. I had no excuse to not sit in there. They traveled 15 miles to sit in the pews; I needed to put forth some effort as well. I sat in the very back because I couldn't see Paul's face and, I heard the sermon I needed; not the one I wanted. I was blown away by what was said.
The preacher talked about how the Jordan dried up for the Israelites to walk through, that way, they can get to the promised land (the land of milk & honey) that God told them to go toin order to get away from the kings. God said, "Be not afraid." He told them to simply step into the Jordan river and the water will dry up on his command. What a brick I was hit by. Earlier last week, I was saying how I'm afraid with where Nathan and I are going. I'm afraid of getting hurt. I'm afraid of him resorting back to drugs. I'm afraid of him running away and here's God telling me to take the risk and jump into the Jordan river. I talked to someone from the Grand Haven church and told them that I'm just going through a lot right now.
June 4, 2018
Nathan keeps leaving all his shit at my house. It makes me wonder if he's slowly trying to move in. First, he gives me his body pillow, a month later, he brings over an asston of Marvel and DC movies. And Friday night, he left his hat on my floor. I'm SURROUNDED by Nathan items and he STILL won't take me as his girlfriend? Wtf?
I talked to Zach about his things. Mom told him that she's gonna sell them if he doesn't come pick them up. I turned around and told him that I am protecting his items and that I haven't touched them. I told him about how Paul wanted to take his bed upstairs and use it and how I yelled at him. Zach made me feel silly by telling me that he doesn't really need the bed. It also made me think: I can get laid on this bed and it won't phase Zach because he won't come back for it. Lord, I am horrible.
I hung out with Adam on Saturday and he kept trying to kiss me. What a moron. He doesn't even know what a kiss is. He kisses me on the cheek very lightly and with no passion at all. When I got home, I told him that I know why he can't hold down a girl: Because he tries to kiss them before getting to know them. He doesn't even know my 4 favorite colors. Ugh, I don't wanna be his practice girl and I certainly don't want a relationship with a virgin, but he's an idiot at this.
I went to church for the first time in a long time and was skeptical of what was going to happen. I didn't think I'd get the sermon I needed, but when Paul and I pulled in the drive, the parking lot was FULL. All of Grand Haven was in the sanctuary. I had no excuse to not sit in there. They traveled 15 miles to sit in the pews; I needed to put forth some effort as well. I sat in the very back because I couldn't see Paul's face and, I heard the sermon I needed; not the one I wanted. I was blown away by what was said.
The preacher talked about how the Jordan dried up for the Israelites to walk through, that way, they can get to the promised land (the land of milk & honey) that God told them to go toin order to get away from the kings. God said, "Be not afraid." He told them to simply step into the Jordan river and the water will dry up on his command. What a brick I was hit by. Earlier last week, I was saying how I'm afraid with where Nathan and I are going. I'm afraid of getting hurt. I'm afraid of him resorting back to drugs. I'm afraid of him running away and here's God telling me to take the risk and jump into the Jordan river. I talked to someone from the Grand Haven church and told them that I'm just going through a lot right now.