Post by Leels on Mar 5, 2020 13:20:59 GMT -5
Dear Journal,
March 5, 2020
This is the 2nd time this week that I've had a dream about Zach. Him and I don't talk like we used to and it makes me wonder what's with all these dreams about him. The first dream this week happened the night Uncle Dennis died. I could understand that one. I was probably thinking in my mind about what it'd feel like if I'd lost someone really important to me like my mom did her. So, I drempt he died. It was scary for me. Zach means so much to me and to see him die in the dream made me wonder how I was ever gonna get by without him. I mean, he saved my life. And knowing that he's still a living being helps. I messaged him when I got up just to make sure it was only a dream. Usually it is, but he's very important to me. I made it sound so much less dramatic on the page than it was in my head. In my head, I thought, "Are you still alive? I need you to be." When I messaged him, though, I just asked, "Hey, you're still alive, right?" and when he answered, I replied, "Good. Because I need my memelord."
Last night, I had a dream that he posted something on Facebook about how society teaches you to hate yourself so that you'll buy the products they make for you and then you end up literally hating yourself. Tbh, that's more something Joel would post, but for some reason, it was Zach. So, I commented, "Sounds like the stuff going on in my head on the regular." He replied to my comment that he's doing some scientific research about women and how men would react if they acted a certain way and how it's a social experiment. He included that you shouldn't have to hate yourself just because you have a vagina - yadda yadda. Long reply. Anyhow, I wish I knew what all these dreams about him are for. Yes, I miss him. I miss him all the time. But I don't think about him every waking moment of my life like I used to.Only when I'm feeling like I'm not worth a shit. In which I tell myself, "What would Zach have to say about this? He'd say, 'Hey. Stop that.'"
March 5, 2020
This is the 2nd time this week that I've had a dream about Zach. Him and I don't talk like we used to and it makes me wonder what's with all these dreams about him. The first dream this week happened the night Uncle Dennis died. I could understand that one. I was probably thinking in my mind about what it'd feel like if I'd lost someone really important to me like my mom did her. So, I drempt he died. It was scary for me. Zach means so much to me and to see him die in the dream made me wonder how I was ever gonna get by without him. I mean, he saved my life. And knowing that he's still a living being helps. I messaged him when I got up just to make sure it was only a dream. Usually it is, but he's very important to me. I made it sound so much less dramatic on the page than it was in my head. In my head, I thought, "Are you still alive? I need you to be." When I messaged him, though, I just asked, "Hey, you're still alive, right?" and when he answered, I replied, "Good. Because I need my memelord."
Last night, I had a dream that he posted something on Facebook about how society teaches you to hate yourself so that you'll buy the products they make for you and then you end up literally hating yourself. Tbh, that's more something Joel would post, but for some reason, it was Zach. So, I commented, "Sounds like the stuff going on in my head on the regular." He replied to my comment that he's doing some scientific research about women and how men would react if they acted a certain way and how it's a social experiment. He included that you shouldn't have to hate yourself just because you have a vagina - yadda yadda. Long reply. Anyhow, I wish I knew what all these dreams about him are for. Yes, I miss him. I miss him all the time. But I don't think about him every waking moment of my life like I used to.Only when I'm feeling like I'm not worth a shit. In which I tell myself, "What would Zach have to say about this? He'd say, 'Hey. Stop that.'"