Post by Nicole on Oct 29, 2004 19:29:07 GMT -5
story I started to write Posted 3-20-2003 12:36
As I laid my hair next to your skin, and lifted my eyes to meet yours. I looked into them. I whispered to you. I wondered if you knew that my words were true. I whisked my body next to yours. As my hair trailed along your thigh. I sat up and tied it slowly, and looked at you while you were sleeping. Curled up on the wrong side of the bed and wondered if you knew how much I do love you. I layed back down and put my arm across your arm, and knew I could not sleep. I knew I would not sleep with all this "war" going on. I felt the loss of you already in my heart. I felt it in my soal. I knew in an instant that you could be taken from me, and my heart sunk in my chest. I began to breathe heavy and had to get up. Everything was closing in on me. The windows seamed closer and the door was to far away. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Like someone was holding half of my air and I could not get them to let it go. I plowed into the floor on my knees gasping for air. I looked up but you did not hear me. Least I could care. I just wanted it to stop. My brain hurt. It felt like a migrane, but it was killing me as I was coughing and aching on the floor. The pain seeped in so deep that it burned inside of my head. I closed my eyes and I worked my way to the sink. Slowly, with my knees buckled I stood halfway and grabbed onto the counter. I held myself up as I continued to try to gain posture. I pulled myself as close as possible to the sink and reached out unwillingly for a glass. I grabbed the first glass that there was available closest to my reach and breathed in deeply. It was a breath and a sigh at the same time. I turned on the water and plunged the short thick glass under the faucet. At the same time I grabbed a paper towel, which was located above the faucet and blew my nose with it. Everything was coming out and I needed to get it all out. All of the ooze that came from me was not all that I had, but it was enough for now. I dropped the paper towel and then pushed the thick water glass to my face. I drank it until I couldn't hold my breath anymore and then I pulled it down from my lips and plunged it underneath the running water again to get a refill. I then took one more drink and headed off to bed, tossing my paper towel into the tall white trash can on the way. I looked at you soundly sleeping. I was glad that you did not notice my panic attack. I was glad you did not know that I was gasping for everything I had at the though of losing you.
As I laid my hair next to your skin, and lifted my eyes to meet yours. I looked into them. I whispered to you. I wondered if you knew that my words were true. I whisked my body next to yours. As my hair trailed along your thigh. I sat up and tied it slowly, and looked at you while you were sleeping. Curled up on the wrong side of the bed and wondered if you knew how much I do love you. I layed back down and put my arm across your arm, and knew I could not sleep. I knew I would not sleep with all this "war" going on. I felt the loss of you already in my heart. I felt it in my soal. I knew in an instant that you could be taken from me, and my heart sunk in my chest. I began to breathe heavy and had to get up. Everything was closing in on me. The windows seamed closer and the door was to far away. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Like someone was holding half of my air and I could not get them to let it go. I plowed into the floor on my knees gasping for air. I looked up but you did not hear me. Least I could care. I just wanted it to stop. My brain hurt. It felt like a migrane, but it was killing me as I was coughing and aching on the floor. The pain seeped in so deep that it burned inside of my head. I closed my eyes and I worked my way to the sink. Slowly, with my knees buckled I stood halfway and grabbed onto the counter. I held myself up as I continued to try to gain posture. I pulled myself as close as possible to the sink and reached out unwillingly for a glass. I grabbed the first glass that there was available closest to my reach and breathed in deeply. It was a breath and a sigh at the same time. I turned on the water and plunged the short thick glass under the faucet. At the same time I grabbed a paper towel, which was located above the faucet and blew my nose with it. Everything was coming out and I needed to get it all out. All of the ooze that came from me was not all that I had, but it was enough for now. I dropped the paper towel and then pushed the thick water glass to my face. I drank it until I couldn't hold my breath anymore and then I pulled it down from my lips and plunged it underneath the running water again to get a refill. I then took one more drink and headed off to bed, tossing my paper towel into the tall white trash can on the way. I looked at you soundly sleeping. I was glad that you did not notice my panic attack. I was glad you did not know that I was gasping for everything I had at the though of losing you.