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Post by Nicole on Aug 29, 2005 6:09:27 GMT -5
July 27, 2005 Dear Leisa
Hmm I wasn't going to reply to your letter because I wondered why you said that you needed more privacy. I have not got much to say. I just wondered if you were back or if you are coming back like you had planned.
Love Nicole
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Post by Nicole on Aug 29, 2005 6:10:27 GMT -5
July 18, 2005 Dear Leisa Hi how are you? Everything is going well here. I had to work all day yesterday (saturday) and today am going to a family reunion. I don't know why you would feel jelous of me for having a family when my husband likes to go with whoores and such. So basically you shouldn't feel jelous because its not like I have a sound marriage. Especially after him going google eyed and persuing you whilst we were together. That really ticked me off. Basically I am going to buy a cabin up in Northern Michigan I won't say if I am divorcing or not. Just that I am going to provide myself with a place to get away. Mainly the future is open. I am not sure if I will ever be okay with another woman again. If you did come stay with me it would be on a friendship base only. Mainly because I do not trust anyone any more. I don't trust many people at any rate. The only person I trust is Douglas. Even then sometimes I do not put enough trust in him. The fact that he is very honest helps. He said that if you want to get to know him you can email him his email is @******** (I think) if that is the wrong one I will send you the right one. My brain hurts today So why is it that you are going to come back home? You are running out of money? Your brother won't let you stay there or what? Just wondering. Missing you, Sincerily, Nicole
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Post by Nicole on Aug 29, 2005 6:10:52 GMT -5
thank you so much! this was really nice. i'm sorry that i was mean to you and that i too was selfish. i think i was jealous b/c you have what i long for, a husband and a great family. are you leaving mike? i really don't have a phone to use, or i would give you a call. i'm sorry about that. there is a payphone up the street, but it just stopped working. fucking a your so sweet. i'm giving it two more weeks here and if it doesn't work out, then i'm coming back. i may just be out of money by then. i will keep in touch as much as possible. i'm home alone all weekend, so if there is a chat room that you go too, i can talk to you that way. i'll check my e-mail as much as possible. love ya, leisa
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Post by Nicole on Aug 29, 2005 6:11:42 GMT -5
Did you know that you are missed. Did you know that I have missed you since the day that you and I split up. I have felt lost. I have not seen another woman I have not looked for another woman. I have been bitter, and unfair. I have been selfish and I am sorry. I do not know what I am trying to say. Maybe just to tell you that if I was not being "real" with you whilst we were together I am sorry. I just liked you so much that I did not want to lose you. There were times when I would have taken my shirt from my back and just gave it to you to make you happy. I wanted to keep you. You were very important to me. Most of all I wish you would have never left. I wish you would have come around. Though I said that I didn't think I would want to be with you I was lying. I would. I just can not take thoughts of losing you. I did not lie when I said I loved you. They were not words just flapping from my lips. Though I have had a hard time making an effort to be open with you it is because I feel like I can not, nor ever will be enough for you in life. I want you to know that when I get my house (not with Mike), you are welcome to come stay with me. I am going to purchase a small cabin in northern Michigan. Perhaps we could start that child care business we spoke of in the past. I don't know if you would ever be up for that but the door is open. Douglas will be coming. The door will always be open for you. I know that your plans in life are different from mine. That you want to start a family and have children. Perhaps a man that will be with you and love you for who you are. I just want you to know that through all of the past, and everything. Maybe I am not a man, and maybe I could never give you what you needed, but I do care. I still care. You have always been important to me.
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Post by Nicole on Aug 29, 2005 6:12:03 GMT -5
Hey you, Is he gone already? What do you mean you don't have much to say about it? You we're totally happy when I saw you. Like you had just won a million dollars or something. I haven't seen you that happy in forever. Love, Leisa
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Post by Nicole on Aug 29, 2005 6:12:32 GMT -5
Dear Leisa I am not going anytime soon to England, but maybe sometime I will. He came here this time because he could spend the time here. He came for 3 months this time. I would like to go there but I have kids to take care of ect.. ect.. I like him alot. I don't have much to say about it.
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Post by Nicole on Aug 29, 2005 6:13:02 GMT -5
your going to england? is he still here? how much time have you been spending with him? can i keep in touch with you on here? leisa
YourAGooseBut
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Post by Nicole on Aug 29, 2005 6:13:26 GMT -5
Dear Leisa Okay Maybe I will see you in England someday
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Post by Nicole on Aug 29, 2005 6:13:48 GMT -5
hey i'm gone, don't be mad please, besides you were too busy to see me i'll write more later when i have privacy, ok? it really was great to see you. you looked awesome
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Post by Nicole on Aug 29, 2005 6:17:40 GMT -5
Just to say, his email is ***********pam address but not at yahoo. I didn't meant to offend you by saying that if you stayed with me it would be on a friendship basis only. You don't need to sleep with me to prove that you care about me. As I do not need heartache and pain in my life. I just want to have a simple life. If that means that I have to start with friendship then that is fine. I am not going "after" you. Even though you are totally cool and I do care very deeply for you. I hope that you don't mind me saying so.
Perhaps we can talk more about the future later.
Yours Sincerily,
Nicole
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Post by Nicole on Aug 29, 2005 6:19:22 GMT -5
July 17, 2005 Dear Leisa Hi how are you? Everything is going well here. I had to work all day yesterday (saturday) and today am going to a family reunion. I don't know why you would feel jelous of me for having a family when my husband likes to go with whoores and such. So basically you shouldn't feel jelous because its not like I have a sound marriage. Especially after him going google eyed and persuing you whilst we were together. That really ticked me off. Basically I am going to buy a cabin up in Northern Michigan I won't say if I am divorcing or not. Just that I am going to provide myself with a place to get away. Mainly the future is open. I am not sure if I will ever be okay with another woman again. If you did come stay with me it would be on a friendship base only. Mainly because I do not trust anyone any more. I don't trust many people at any rate. The only person I trust is Douglas. Even then sometimes I do not put enough trust in him. The fact that he is very honest helps. He said that if you want to get to know him you can email him his email is *********** (I think) if that is the wrong one I will send you the right one. My brain hurts today So why is it that you are going to come back home? You are running out of money? Your brother won't let you stay there or what? Just wondering. Missing you, Sincerily, Nicole
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Post by Nicole on Aug 29, 2005 6:20:24 GMT -5
thank you so much! this was really nice. i'm sorry that i was mean to you and that i too was selfish. i think i was jealous b/c you have what i long for, a husband and a great family. are you leaving mike? i really don't have a phone to use, or i would give you a call. i'm sorry about that. there is a payphone up the street, but it just stopped working. fucking a your so sweet. i'm giving it two more weeks here and if it doesn't work out, then i'm coming back. i may just be out of money by then. i will keep in touch as much as possible. i'm home alone all weekend, so if there is a chat room that you go too, i can talk to you that way. i'll check my e-mail as much as possible. love ya, leisa
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Post by Nicole on Aug 29, 2005 8:05:52 GMT -5
May 28, 2005 hey, i just went to your diary and have read things from when we stopped seeing each other. it didn't hurt me to read what you felt, but that I made you feel that way. i want to come and see you again, like mabye monday or tuesday of memorial week, but i don't want to see you and wonder if you really want me there or not. i probably won't see the reply if you choose to reply. i go back home tomorrw, sunday, the 29th. well, first to work and then home. i may be moving to phoenix, az, so i do want to come by. i understand a little of your frustration, ok a lot, b/c i'm feeling it myself from someone else and hey, i'm sure you're not dwelling over me, which is cool, but i do understand and honestly from within my heart, i wasn't making excuses the last time i saw you. my living situation is horrible and i'm doing something everyday to try and fix it. take care and hearing from you would be good
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Post by Nicole on Aug 29, 2005 8:07:29 GMT -5
You know what You say you were going to stop by, but never do You say you would like to see me but its really on you So maybe since you never do see me, and since you never do actually come over we have nothing more to say to each other. Nicole
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Post by Nicole on Aug 29, 2005 8:08:01 GMT -5
hey, r u done talking with me from time to time? just curious me
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