Post by Nicole on May 25, 2005 8:11:35 GMT -5
Dear Mike
I don't understand why you think that
making love is going to change anything?
Maybe you don't quite understand me.
I have feelings for someone else. I do not
intend to make love to you. I do not know what
I intend to do, but I am here. I care and I am here.
You say you miss me. I try to explain to you
what the problem is but you don't hear me. Its
like I am talking to a wall or the bedroom walls.
I am angry because of the following:
You have everything I have nothing. I will never have
anything because you don't support anything I do.
I can never go to college until the kids get older. I have
no career choices ect.. ect..
The house you are building is your house.
The reason I am here is because I had nothing. You had
something (a house). I needed to get off the streets
and stay off of them. . We got married
even though you didn't want me. We had children together.
I started a carreer. Yet I still have nothing. You made
me sign a prenuptial agreement so that you could have
everythign yet I still have to sacrafice the most.
No I do not think that is fair. I don't think it is fair anymore.
You can treat me like shit and where do I have to go? You
can wake me up at 8:30am expecting me to clean
(and you have done this) and you know what? I have nothing
so where am I going to go? What will I do. I will never be able
to do anything without you. You own me.
These are my children and I will never leave them, but one thing
is for sure and certain. This is my body, and this is my heart.
I don't have to give it to you just because you want it.
You have a maid. You have a mother for your children, but you
can not have me. I want something of my own. You will never
understand that because I get use of everything that is yours.
I have never had anything of my own but I do have control over
one thing. I have control over my heart. I control who I love,
who I sleep with, and what happens to my children.
You and I are never going to go any further until I get something of
my own that you can't take from me. Preferably that would be
some kind of property that I can run away from you to. Since you
seam to think you own me. Still not plan on divorcing you or
taking the kids, but you don't own my body. You may own
everything else, but I control who I love.
Right now I don't want to make love. I don't want to make up.
I just want to be me. This is me. You may own me but you will not
suffocate my problems by making love.
You seam to not care about my not having anything or having to make
the most sacrafices so I do not care if you want to make love.
If I can share my heart and dreams with someone who actually cares
about them and listens to me then why would I attempt to tell you about them
when you don't care and don't listen?
I don't understand why you think that
making love is going to change anything?
Maybe you don't quite understand me.
I have feelings for someone else. I do not
intend to make love to you. I do not know what
I intend to do, but I am here. I care and I am here.
You say you miss me. I try to explain to you
what the problem is but you don't hear me. Its
like I am talking to a wall or the bedroom walls.
I am angry because of the following:
You have everything I have nothing. I will never have
anything because you don't support anything I do.
I can never go to college until the kids get older. I have
no career choices ect.. ect..
The house you are building is your house.
The reason I am here is because I had nothing. You had
something (a house). I needed to get off the streets
and stay off of them. . We got married
even though you didn't want me. We had children together.
I started a carreer. Yet I still have nothing. You made
me sign a prenuptial agreement so that you could have
everythign yet I still have to sacrafice the most.
No I do not think that is fair. I don't think it is fair anymore.
You can treat me like shit and where do I have to go? You
can wake me up at 8:30am expecting me to clean
(and you have done this) and you know what? I have nothing
so where am I going to go? What will I do. I will never be able
to do anything without you. You own me.
These are my children and I will never leave them, but one thing
is for sure and certain. This is my body, and this is my heart.
I don't have to give it to you just because you want it.
You have a maid. You have a mother for your children, but you
can not have me. I want something of my own. You will never
understand that because I get use of everything that is yours.
I have never had anything of my own but I do have control over
one thing. I have control over my heart. I control who I love,
who I sleep with, and what happens to my children.
You and I are never going to go any further until I get something of
my own that you can't take from me. Preferably that would be
some kind of property that I can run away from you to. Since you
seam to think you own me. Still not plan on divorcing you or
taking the kids, but you don't own my body. You may own
everything else, but I control who I love.
Right now I don't want to make love. I don't want to make up.
I just want to be me. This is me. You may own me but you will not
suffocate my problems by making love.
You seam to not care about my not having anything or having to make
the most sacrafices so I do not care if you want to make love.
If I can share my heart and dreams with someone who actually cares
about them and listens to me then why would I attempt to tell you about them
when you don't care and don't listen?