Post by Nicole on May 14, 2005 12:22:37 GMT -5
I could barely sleep last night. Irrationality was running through my head like spitfire. In my mind that kept running and running I thought of how difficult this has been. How hard it is keeping an open line of communication between us. Then thought about your mud, and how you said you wanted to invite many women there ect.. ect.. and I sighed. See it is not that I want you to be limited. That isn't at all what I want, but I feel like you are moving to fast. That I am not ready for a complete open relationship. Somewhere deep inside of me it wants to know that I am important, and cherished. You can say that I am but I feel still insecure. Still worried, scared, and everything is still new to me regarding this and you. Like when you asked me "What if I brought other women here? While at jugger".
I feel like this:
While the thought of participating has been shot back and forth, most of the times I just want to be with you. I don't want to continuosly share you. If that is what you want to do with your time icly then I will stop playing as much. I don't want to be confused and play more like I have been hoping that you want to spend time with me, but ending up that you are doing other things. That isn't a threat, or isn't meant to hurt you. It really is that I don't want to, nor do I like being jelous, but I like you. I think we do have the means for a long term relationship. I think we would work out, but that is just my thoughts. I think that because everything that I do with you, I put all of my emotions into. So yeah I am a bit wishy washy on the Selina thing. I know for a fact that she isn't 18 also. Not that it matters completely in role play. So not completely saying no on the Selina matter, but just telling you that honestly I don't want to do this all the time. I like you, and care about you. My main goal isn't to share my time with you with other people. My first main goal is to spend time with you first before anyone else comes along, though things do happen.
Now I am just babbling and working myself up into being upset again. I wish you would turn on your computer so we could talk.
When it comes to women, its all about feelings. Even me. I don't feel like you backstabbed me in the least, but feel disconnected from you. I want it back.
I feel like this:
While the thought of participating has been shot back and forth, most of the times I just want to be with you. I don't want to continuosly share you. If that is what you want to do with your time icly then I will stop playing as much. I don't want to be confused and play more like I have been hoping that you want to spend time with me, but ending up that you are doing other things. That isn't a threat, or isn't meant to hurt you. It really is that I don't want to, nor do I like being jelous, but I like you. I think we do have the means for a long term relationship. I think we would work out, but that is just my thoughts. I think that because everything that I do with you, I put all of my emotions into. So yeah I am a bit wishy washy on the Selina thing. I know for a fact that she isn't 18 also. Not that it matters completely in role play. So not completely saying no on the Selina matter, but just telling you that honestly I don't want to do this all the time. I like you, and care about you. My main goal isn't to share my time with you with other people. My first main goal is to spend time with you first before anyone else comes along, though things do happen.
Now I am just babbling and working myself up into being upset again. I wish you would turn on your computer so we could talk.
When it comes to women, its all about feelings. Even me. I don't feel like you backstabbed me in the least, but feel disconnected from you. I want it back.